98 Years Old!!!

What do you give a man who just turned 98 years old? Socks? Fiddle Faddle? I have no clue so we went with the old stand by...a birthday card. Sarah's grandpa just turned 98 and he had a birthday party. Now you would think that someone this old would have a piece of cake and some milk. But no...the old guy has a party with over 200 people attending. I don't even know 200 people. But I guess if you live that long, you make a few friends here and there.

For being 98, I think he has more energy than most people I know. Maybe not Charlie though, but darn near close. It was good to see grandpa; it had been awhile since I last visited. He always seems to be in good spirits, especially when the family gets together...until Cathy shows up.

Cathy is Sarah's "sister" and is quite special. She might be the most materialistic person I know. Oh did I mention that she's a Bible thumper as well? You know most Bible thumpers are very materialistic and own a Mercedes, etc. Not only does she crave material items, she is super superficial. She decides to like you if you are cute and skinny. If you are a bit overweight, A) she'll tell you in your face, B) laugh at you, and then C) hate you. You know the Bible says this is how everyone should act when being this close to God. How Sarah didn't kill her, I have no idea.

During the whole weekend, she kept saying the rudest/dumbest things on earth. Here's a sample:
1. Want to try some of my adult M&M's? They're designer M&M's.
2. Hugo, your house is not functional. For $100,000, I could remodel it for you.
3. Sharon, you look fat and slutty in that dress. (How can one be fat and slutty at the same time?)
4. I only have expensive things in my house, no cheap stuff.
5. This looks like we're at an AARP convention.
6. Want some adult M&M's?

Man oh man, I was tempted to say something, but I am too nice a guy. Plus, if I did,she might send God after me!